you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
