its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
