Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
