HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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