so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You've changed since you got that strap on
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