butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
