I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
