just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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