Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
