Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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