So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
