Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
