He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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