do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
