He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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