I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize