Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
