K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
