But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
