I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize
