the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
