I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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