She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
