Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
