quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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