I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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