They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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