Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
