I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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