I don't remember. Are we still dating?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
