May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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