I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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