she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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