UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
