if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
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