I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
