So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
