therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
