Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I yelled at your uterus for you.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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