Grow some girl-balls and come out already
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
you will always have a special place in my vag
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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