I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize