I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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