so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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