And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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