Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
