i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
