these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
