I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
