that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
you would pick up someone in the library
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
