Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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