I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
