I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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