I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
