It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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