I could make wine with my vomit
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
