Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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