Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
